people always say that welcoming the new year should also be a start of doing something new, or changing old bad habits and behaviors. or doing something that has never happened before. a new year is something that people should look forward to. a new chance at life. but now, i don't really think so. seeing people around me, not knowing what to do or how to move on and even what to look forward to after the typhoon washed out houses and killed family members. it's been more than 2 weeks since the typhoon affected us. but people are still living in tents or evacuation centers, unable to clean their houses because of the thick mud that's been left behind by the flood. some people are still missing. and for some they don't have houses to go back to.
i know that my family is still lucky because our house is still there. today, we started cleaning up. hoping to still scavenge things that would still be useful. clothes, important papers, money, things. but i can feel the heaviness in the air, when i saw our house i don't even know what to say. the house that's been my home since i was two. the house that's full of memories. still standing, able to endure, but unsure. unsure if we could still live there with all the damage.
i'm still unable to sleep straight. i still wake up at around 1 or 2 am. listening, alert. paranoia. i'm still worried when it rains. i guess the typhoon has really affected not just the physical and material aspect. but the emotional and spiritual, as well. i hope for this year, those who have been affected by the typhoon would be able to stand strong again. to build again. their hopes and their dreams of the future.
i guess this would be a year of just having the faith, courage, and hope to move on. happy new year y'all.